I have grown up knowing that I was adopted. I am the most blessed person in the world. My birth mother was 15 when she had me and was so courageous as she took the path that was probably not the easiest: adoption. My parents adopted me when I was a baby and gave me a life that I probably would’ve dreamt of if the situation was any different.
People always ask me if it is weird being adopted, if I am treated different than my siblings, if I feel left out. I can honestly say that I have never felt like I wasn’t part of the O’Brien family. My siblings are my siblings and I still cannot believe we aren’t blood related. My parents are my world, my two best friends who have created the person that I am. I am so grateful to be a part of their family.
It’s funny because people will always tell me that I look like my parents without knowing that I am adopted. We always just chuckle a little knowing that I am adopted, but most of the time we just let it go. I would say that I am the perfect mix in personality between my two parents.
I fit in right?!When I first brought up the idea of finding my birth parents, my dad was concerned with the outcome. He was concerned that it may open me up to be let down or hurt and at the ripe age of 18 about to head to college, he felt like I should wait. I promised that I would until I graduated from college.
The time has come and I have the full support of my family and friends. I have had numerous conversations with those I love in my life about the possible outcomes, gains and even potential heartbreak that I could endure with this, but I feel like this list has pushed me in a way to open myself up to being ready for this.
I called the adoption agency to figure out how the process works and they informed me that I would have to fill out a application of disclosure, get it certified and mail it to Richmond to start the process. This is the first step of probably many in order to get the search underway.
I printed off the form, filled it out, got it certified and stuck it in an envelope. I then went down to my favorite bar in St. Augustine and sat there with a beer and the envelope in front of me. For the first time in my life I was scared shitless for the doors that this was potentially opening. I sat there awhile and thought about it, I even almost ripped it up at one point.
One of the waitresses and a dear friend of mine, Jerilyn, came up to me. She has known about my story of adoption and my intent to find my birthmother and she sat there and talked to me. She reminded me of my intentions. My intentions to thank my birth mother for the blessing she had given me by giving me up for adoption. The courage she displayed at such a very young age. The sacrifice she made by having me rather than having an abortion. I cry as I write this, not because I am sad or anything like that, but because I know how lucky I am. Phew. Alright.
Bottom line: I mailed the letter. I stood in the post office, even took a picture of the letter as proof, and stuck it in the mailbox. A wave of relief and excitement washed over me. The situation was out of my hands.
Though I do not know what is going to happen, my faith is in God and the right thing will happen! I will keep y’all updated on what comes from this but I wanted to write the post now as to not be let down by any future events, or lack thereof. I will keep on praying and hope for the best!
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